Too Much of a Good Thing

Help me out here.  I know nothing about modern art, and I need to spend more time in the Hirschhorn Museum and the East Wing of the National Gallery of Art.  But right now I have to help Slava decide what to do with several dozen large pieces of modern art that he has stacked behind doors, along walls, and in some cases, actually hung near traditional pieces.

The work is all done by one artist -- not the person who did the previously described "Reflection That Isn't." Some years ago, during a year of hard times for almost everyone here, Slava met this other artist and felt sorry for him.  It’s difficult under the best of circumstances to make a living as a painter.  Slava told this man he’d support him for one year.  It was to be a business arrangement, not a hand out.  Slava would be his patron and would take possession of the work he produced.  It turned out that this guy could churn out paintings really fast, and at the end of the year he gave Slava his volume of work.  That was in 2007.  Nothing has been done with it since.

Slava is a scientist, not an art curator.  He knows nothing about selling art.  Personally I’d be glad to have any of the work have a good home, so I’ll try to describe some of the major pieces that are here:

1. Pictured above is a triptych of a fish.  You can see that it would brighten any room.
2. There’s a pair of large paintings, each 4 ft by 5 ft, that depict a noble-man and a noble-lady in primary colors of yellow, green, and blue, with slashes of pink.
3. A 3 ft by 4 ft painting has three women, one green, one blue, one white, with large breasts.
4. A square painting 3 ft by 3ft shows a fat prisoner playing a violin.
5. One done in black and white, 3 ft by3 ft, is pornographic enough for a bachelor pad where no woman would ever visit.
6. There’s a small series I’d describe as the slums of Rio de Janeiro, although it’s mostly done in shades of red.
7. My lack of imagination sees nothing in another piece other than a nightmare, slathered lavishly with squeezes from tubes of paint instead of normal brushwork.  It is, however, in a gorgeous gold frame.
8. The most successful work, in my opinion, is a series with sailboats impressionistically reflected in water.  They’re done in primary colors and would look great on white walls, above white furniture. 

Slava brought some of this artist’s work to the U.S., figuring that when he had time he’d visit some galleries and see if he could sell these pieces.  Since 2007 he hasn’t yet had time, so the work is stashed in our basement.  Some day we may have a wine and cheese party and an exhibition.  Let me know if you would like to be on the guest list.